追思：写在2010年前后

感谢当年的文字，让我现在能有清晰的回忆！

这是一个充满人间真情的地方，

这是可以寄托希望的天堂，

这里人人本来平等，却看财富多寡；

对于许多人，这是一个遥远的国度；

此为何处？

It is a suffering on both sides, or rather, agony and distress. And this pain never ceases growing. It continuation means nothing but even greater agony. The most distressing is that there seems to be no end to it, but there is: something everyone tries hard to hold back from saying. When it comes, the greatest ever grief will follow.

Five years is a miracle already. However, it is still anticipated that a new miracle can occur. Half a year is too short. The miracle has not come yet. "God, are you emotional or sympathetic?" three pairs of tearful eyes and three aching hearts keep questioning.

What is to be meant here is NOT what most of us will assume to be at the first sight of the title. (Some of you may jokingly reply: What do you think what we take it as is?) In so saying, it is that there are quite a lot in common between the two.

英文翻译/英语译文

Mr. Wang Sr., though in his middle sixties, is still working hard in the field. He has four daughters and one son. The only boy graduated several years ago. Unfortunately, the young man is involved in so-called 传销 pyramid selling in Chongqing. The old man is not alone, for there is his wife, confined to bed 卧床不起 for almost one year already.

The next-door neighbor (left) is another Wang family. The wife suffers from occasional attacks of mental disorder 精神病. At one time, she fixes her eyes somewhere, dumb. At another, she cries for no reason at all. Brought up in this family, the son grows unsociable and eccentric.

There is an infertile 不育症 couple also living next-door. They adopted a nephew from the wife's sister. Several months ago the man was diagnosed with late liver cancer 肝癌晚期. Then he came home awaiting his last judgement. What a pity he had received no medical treatment except taking some painkillers.

Of all misfortunes the 3 biggest are the decease of Father in the childhood 幼年丧父, the loss of Wife in middle age 中年丧妻 and the death of Son in late years 老年丧子. The first Pu family lost their elder son, who died of anus cancer 肛门癌 in early forties 3 years ago. One year later, the old father was operated on twice because of cholecystitis 胆囊炎. Three months ago his wife was hit by a motorcyle.

Another Mr. Pu became a widower 鳏夫 about twenty years ago, when his daughter was several months old. Then he had to bring up his three children on his own through these hard years. Several months ago, his first daughter-in-law 买婚 ran away, leaving her 7-year-old son and husband at home.

And a lot more similar stories.

In three days, it will be Christmas day. Seven more days later, the New Year will be at hand, then the grandest Spring Festival will come together with the romantic St. Valentine's Day. This is a season of days and festivals. Millions of greetings will pour into your ears and eyes, mails and cells. 圣诞节快乐！Merry Christmas! 平安夜 Christmas Eve 准备怎么度过啊？新年不来个party吗？Happy New Year! 新年快乐！It seems everybody is happy, and pleased with greeting others in one way or another. They are immersed in festival joy.

But I want to block my ears to joyful tunes, close my eyes to festal decorations, leave alone my mailbox and put aside my cellphones. I am sieged in this discordant atmosphere.

One reason will suffice, but my words fail, my mind blank.

Wish some day we could have a light-hearted party. Next year? Possibly not. The year after? Who knows?

Last time I visited her

Last time I visited her, more serous fluid accumulated in her chest, which made the simplest act of breathing a struggle and sleeping an adventure. Her legs grew even fatter but retained no more warmth. The life in her eyes faded away, concentration becoming impossible. The appetite shrank gradually, from a small half of a bowl to two or three spoons.

Should it happen, I would express my two regrets in advance: One, I wasn't able to bring Kangming’s daughter up to run and jump. Two, Xiaosan had devoted a lot of money and energy against the serial attack of misfortunes, which resulted in the long-delayed and yet-to-come marriage.

My last will was to live long and able enough to wrap some zongzi, if possible, to do some cooking, in the coming New Year for all my sons and daughters-in-law, and grandchildren. All in all, I wish there could be one more happy family reunion. That way, nothing to feel regretful about. I would rest in peace.

These words were cutting my heart. What could I say in reply, given the condition? Judging from her present condition, in all likelihood, the two regrets will accompany her into the other world, and the will is never to be fulfilled in this life, sorrowfully hopefully in the future life.

What if she were your irreplaceable dearest in the world and your life?

归去是宝，归来成草。

• Uncle: Why is a motherless child compared to a leaf of grass?
  Nephew: The grass has to endure the beating of weather without any shelter.

• Uncle: Where has Grandma gone?
  Nephew: She was taken away by the fierce fire.

In all the world, Mama is the best.
The child with a mother is like a precious jewel.
Diving into mother's embrace,
One can enjoy unbounded happiness.

In all the world, Mama is the best.
The child without a mother is like a blade of grass.
Away from mother's embrace,
Where would one find happiness?

A bolt from the blue (sky)

天冷你会想起谁？

天冷你会想起谁？

Winter has gone, but not with its coldness. Spring has come, but not with its warmth.

The scene recurs to me. The day Spring just began, Dada asked me, "Is it the beginning of Spring?" "Yes. It'll get warmer and warmer before the Spring Festival," I answered soothingly. "And you will be able to sit comfortably in the sun." "Sounds great," he added in a relieved manner. "I don't intend to stay in bed for so long. It's just too freezing these days." "I see," agreed I. He went on sleeping or rather lying, face covered with a cap.

In a shivery day like today, I used to make a special call to inquire after his condition. But now there is no need at all, for he is living in a perfect world free of coldness and illness.

Tonight, Dada will come home.

On the seventh day of the lunar New Year, Dada went away alone silently, leaving no word to any of us three. The following days we cried, wept, sobbed and grieved.

1. He is riding back from work. Walking ahead are two elderly, a young couple and a child. When he is passing by the old lady, the young woman cries, "Stop where you are, Mama."

At the last expression, he feels something inside him turns.

2. The woman was finally rescued by his husband. Immediately, she threw herself into his arms, tears pouring out. They hugged into a ball, mixed with emotions.

Two kinds of happiness: being needed, and having somebody to lean back on.

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